What actually is sex? What do people actually need to be doing to fuck each other? The answer depends on who you ask.

For the Collins Dictionary its ‘the joining of the sexual organs of a male and a female, in which the erect penis of the male is inserted into the vagina of the female, usually with the ejaculation of semen into the vagina’.

Many of us are too queer, too kinky, too dis/differently-abled, too pleasure-seeking, too slutty and too disinterested in procreating from the sex we have for this definition to feel all that right for us. We manage to have sex without engaging in this particular sex-act, and even when we do, the idea that it’s the most important one doesn’t really serve our authenticity and pleasure either…

Where do we learn about sex?

Besides the reductive definition of what it even is that most of us are taught, there’s plenty else we learn about sex from all kinds of places. What is normal in sex? What should it feel like? Who is sexy and why? What should feel pleasurable? What is sexually embarassing and shameful? What makes people with which genitals come?

Most of us learned the answers to these questions through how sex is portrayed in mainstream media- film, TV, porn, The Internet. Usually wordless, breathless, spontaneous, un-protected heterosexual intercourse where everyone telepathically understands how to make one another experience simultaneous, massive orgasms through some quick thrusting (hmm…) Those who have sex on screen do not chat to each other about their desires and boundaries, much less experience stuck zips or periods or orgasmless intercourse or smudged make-up or the need for lube.

Alongside this representation making many of us feel weird and dysfunctional for our bodies and fantasies failing to align with how everyone’s doing it on screen, we also had terrible provision of sex ed at school (if any at all!) and a shameful silence or vagueness when the topic comes up with family or friends. Our culture is saturated with sexual imagery, but very little honest and open conversation about how people actually experience their sexualities and intimacy with others. No wonder so many of us carry around such shame, confusion and unmet expectations about sex, and end up having sex that feels disappointing, awkward and inauthentic.

The people in this issue have dedicated their work and life to fight for a better, more inclusive, approach to sex.

We started Spit It Out because we truly believe education and open conversations around sex, consent and trauma are crucial in our fight against abuse. This Autumn, we decided it was time for a second campaign and a new issue for the magazine. Our Aye Fuck Campaign features photos and interviews with some incredible people we met who’s work revolves around sex, whether that be in Education, Pleasure Sex Work or Activism. We wanted to promote their voices and experiences with Sex being a key element of their lives.

We contacted El Read, an incredible artist based in Edinburgh and we felt very lucky when they agreed to create the Aye Fuck design. We designed a new line of T-shirts and jumpers you can buy on our website!

We also wanted to share with you poetry and art from some other amazing artists who’s work talks about their experiences with sex.

We believe that with more open conversations around sex and pleasure we can change the sexual script.

10% of the profits will go to ScotPep, a sex worker-led charity that advocates for the safety, rights and health of everyone who sells sex in Scotland.

10% of the profits will go to Meredith’s campaign to bring inclusive sex-education in her school (more information in her interview)